Fuzzy Five Industries, Inc.
Webcomic Terms and Conditions of Use
Thank you for viewing the Fuzzy Five webcomic. By opening your eyes while this site is in your browser window, bookmarks, cache or thoughts, you agree to the following terms and conditions, which shall remain binding upon you and your progeny and take retroactive effect on you and your ancestors through all previous genealogically traceable generation:
1. With the exception of the exceptions listed herein in Section 2, do not attempt any of the actions, activities and/or hijinks depicted in this webcomic, including:
a) Mailing yourself;
b) Befriending a vampire;
c) Stealing a nightstick from a security guard;
d) Interrupting a television broadcast;
e) Knocking down a door you do not own;
f) Descending from the ceiling of a breakfast food establishment on a wire;
g) Discharging a fire extinguisher to scare off a group of small dogs and/or other house pets;
h) Attempting witty banter with your kidnapper;
i) Looking Justin Bieber in the eyes;
j) Spending several months in a flashback.
2. The following activities depicted in Fuzzy Five are generally considered acceptable and safe, assuming they are done in the presence of an attorney and appropriate safety personnel:
a) Consuming, through mastication and esophageal peristalsis, prudent quantities of breakfast food, with the exception of those foodstuffs to which you are allergic;
b) Befriending an attractive individual who represents a particular subculture through stereotypical clothing, behavior and attitude, with the exception of serial killers, gang members or furries;
c) Fantasizing about participating in espionage activities;
d) Singing about missing friends;
e) Constructing dioramas
3. The portrayal in this webcomic of walking, talking, sarcastic stuffed animals does not in any way constitute an offer for sale of walking, talking, sarcastic stuffed animals by Fuzzy Five Industries, Inc., Squishable.com, Inc., The Oklahoma Department of Tumbleweed Control or any other entity, real, imagined and/or of disputed existence.
4. If your stuffed animal starts talking to you, get mental health help immidiately.
5. Printouts of Fuzzy Five comics may be flammable or may have sharp edges.