From: OMSU Office of Career Services
To: Enrolled Students
Subject: Remaining Open Internships, Summer 2011
Dear Students,
As the maintenance crew relocates the graduation tent for use as freshman housing and the rising scent of old Chinese food reminds us of the compost heap next to the softball field, our thoughts turn to summer.
Many of you already have jobs. Some have the family connections to get placed in a Congressional office. Others go off to the salmon canneries to make beer money (and maybe some tuition) for the next semester. Though I shouldn’t be all that surprised anymore, a surprisingly large number of you are taking remedial classes here on campus.
However, judging by the volume of students coming through my doors, a lot of you still need something to do. The following are listings for internships that are still available at this late date. If you are interested in any of these, please email the career office.
1. Social Media Director, McGuffin Coal Company
Location:Beckley, WV
Pay: $7.45 an hour, payable in anthracite coal
Description: Energy industry concern is seeking a young, plugged-in intern to help with our newly-launched “Mountaintops Suck” campaign to swing public opinion on certain mining practices. Use The Twitter, The Facebook, The MySpace and The Foursquare to remind the youth of today that verdant mountainsides and winding streams are useless for playing baseball, holding rap concerts and a variety of other activities the kids today seem to be so wild about.
2. Receptionist, Law Offices of Anastasia Button
Location:Fluffton Heights
Pay: Unpaid
Description: Learn about contract and real estate law from an up-and-coming firm the American Lawyers’ Guide glowingly calls “currently accepting clients.” Intern must be male, over 18, fit, eyes you could lose yourself in, discreet and occasionally free after work. Complimentary breakfast.
3. Editorial Assistant, Expressions Magazine Group
Location: Davenport, IA
Pay: Unpaid
Description: We are seeking a college intern who is interested in journalism. Expressions magazine is an exciting magazine dedicated to the adult incontinence lifestyle and features articles about how people of all ages can live full, energetic lives without being able to control one’s excretory functions. Must have strong writing skills and weak sense of smell.
Oh Spirit. Oh dear oh dear.
From now on, I’m going to add the line “We’ll pay you in commemorative gold coins!” to my conversation more often. Hee!
haahahahahah speak fox
” Must have strong writing skills and weak sense of smell.” LOL
Sheesh, Tesla. Call off your dogs.
where is nightshade standing? at first it seems as though she’s on top, but then the fire extinguisher sign is pointed down at her?
=P OH, the sign isn’t on the actual extinguisher… *is lame*
Good work!!
Commemorative gold coins. Yes!
Thank you for actually doing research instead of jumping the bandwagon of mindlessly insulting Fox News for the sake of two hours of its programming.
I GOT MY OCTOPUS!!!!!!! SO happy:) really really happy;) love the comic. Oh my octopus is named tenteclaude. I planed to name him something NOT in the comic, but as soon as I pulled him out, the name was just to perfect! Sorry,I know tell about your self day was the 16th but I got really excited. (1st squisable)
I lied, his names Orion. And I just began to understand the gold coin part. Would that be considered sad?
Congratulations on your first Squishable friend.
Thanks:)
Uhh, …Socialist?? A system that is only part socialist could do decently well. Granted, the “waiting in mile long lines to get everything” cliche is bad, but aren’t all cliches? (the Fox news thing…hahaha…Spirit has Not had her college level critical thinking education.)
Ms. Button:
Am licensed attorney considering your job offer. Kindly send more information including full-figure snap. Will respond in kind. –A.
hahah, i almost fell out of my chair.
The comic was fantastic, but the post-up afterwards might be one of the best yet!! XD The Facebook, The Twitter…