The Waffletorium

37 E. College Avenue
Fluffton
555-3556

I may be a townie here in Fluffton, but I live on the East Side and don’t come down to the area around the OMSU campus very often until recently.

I like the idea of the unofficial campus diner.  Open 24 hours, every clique, subculture and loner passes through its doors at some point.  On a Saturday morning, the grad students linger over coffee (and much to the chagrin of the waitresses, not much else) while grading papers dashed off in 12.2 point Courier New ten minutes before deadline.

Later on, the hangover crew comes in, a jumble of frat boys, club kids and house partiers, sweating out the beer and wearing something from their laundry pile.  They either enthusiasticallyscarf down eggs and bacon or poke at the dry white toast they hope they can keep down.  Some are very chatty, others bleary and weary.

Around lunch, the students wane and the townies wax.  From 2 until around 7, it’s all old men looking for something to do all day, the marginally employed and lonely travellers looking to escape their placeless chain hotel sit one to a booth, heads down.

Then the teams come in, flush from yet another loss, to drown their sorrows in western omelets.  As if you could drown in an omelet. Dumb jocks.

But I digress again.

The Waffletorium probably has all that and more (Campus Crusaders for Christ after church, study groups that don’t even bother to take out any books, the dazed products of all manner of chemical experimentation, etc…). I wouldn’t know, as I’ve only been once.

I can’t say much about the food, but there is one thing that stuck out, and it wasn’t the waiters dressed like waffles knocking things over left and right:

MY SQUISHABLE GOT STOLEN BY A GUY DANGLING FROM THE CEILING!

How does this happen?  It’s a single-story building that’s open 24 hours and lit with the glow of a thousand acne-highlighting fluorescent suns, for chrissakes!  How did nobody notice?

My new narwhal friend (long story) thinks it is part of a secret evil cabal set to destroy all that is plush and sentient. I have my doubts.  The fact that a guy dressed from head to toe in black could have set up such an elaborate rigging without anyone noticing just boggles my mind. Boggles, I say!

So go here if you want to see college students being college students.  Go here if you want to gawk at the uniforms people are willing to wear for $3.15 an hour plus tips.

But do not, for any reason, come here with a beloved stuffed animal (though I’m about to break this rule, but whatever).  I’m pretty sure that they don’t need to eat, so leave the squishies at home!