Rico & The Bald Man, SportsTalk 880, November 12, 2009

9:02 – Rico: And, we’re back.  This hour of Rico & The Bald Man is brought to you by our sponsor Gampy’s Family Restaurant in Mount Vernon who want us to remind you that they fired that one weird waiter with the really loud monotone voice.  He was freaking us out too.  Now,  on the line we have a familiar caller.  Breakfast the Chicken, how’s it goin?

Breakfast: Feel like a million bucks, Rico.  Livin’ the cluckin’ dream.

The Bald Man: Watch it with the language there, Breakfast.  What’s on your mind?

Breakfast: I know I’ve been beating the drum on this for a while, but I don’t think the ownership has given my proposal serious consideration.  The fans are speaking!

The Bald Man: Do you really think they’ll re-name the Ravens “The Chickens”?

Breakfast: This year, the Maryland poultry industry will produce almost 300 million broilers.  Instead of turning them into 25 cent wings and buns for bacon and cheese sandwiches, we should cede to them democratic control of their henhouses…

The Bald Man: …and re-name the Baltimore Ravens the Baltimore Chickens…

Breakfast: …so the newly emancipated chickens become football fans and stimulate the economy by purchasing officially-licensed merchandise.  Exactly.  See, you get it!

The Bald Man: Actually, I don’t.

Rico: Surely, these chickens would have to work to afford Baltimore Chickens keychains, novelty helmet phones and Littlearth Quilted Purses with faux leather trim.  What would they do for a living?

Breakfast:  Ummm…. guano manufacture, organic free-range alarm clocks for hippies who don’t really care where on the farm they wake up, sports radio announcer. And stop calling me Shirley!

The Bald Man: Your little Vaudevillian … uh… quip will just make you look dumb when it’s written down.

Rico: It’s a verbal joke, you know that, right?