The Waffletorium
37 E. College Avenue
Fluffton
555-3556
When describing the Waffletorium experience, my mind immediately turns to the classical theme this establishment has chosen for its name. What would Ovid have to say about a brightly lit 24-hour diner specializing in breakfast items? He would probably be fascinated with the unfamiliar New World foods, such as the potatoes.
In particular, he would be fascinated by the hash browns that peek out from under two hamburger patties, two cups of chili, four slices of American cheese product (also an exotic New World foodstuff), half an onion, julienned, six chicken wings and a single deviled egg in a dish is known far and wide as the Obesity Crisis. It’s by far the most food you can get for $8.99 and the perfect dare for your 15-year-old brother (your mom may have made him come for move-in weekend to get him interested in going to college, but if he cleans his plate, he’ll be out of your hair until it’s time for the fam to go home).
A lesser reviewer would add that if you knew enough Latin to dare Ovid to eat an entire Obesity Crisis, he would soon ask you for directions to the vomitorium at Omega house. I for one am sick of hearing people making tasteless eating disorder jokes about sorority girls under the guise of discussing a major contributor to the poetic canon. It’s not funny. Besides, I usually get an order of french toast with an extra bowl on the side so I can mix up butter, hot maple syrup and about three packets of sugar to create the perfect sweet topping – not exactly rabbit food!* Aside from satisfying my sweet tooth, it allows me to run errands at a mindboggling clip on Saturday afternoons and then pass out in a sugar coma until it’s time to go out at night.
There is one down side: the waiters’ uniforms are wider than the aisles, leading to the occasional mess. The “aspect ratio” of the uniforms is one … uhh… aspect of the place I would change. Waffle sticks, perhaps?
*I can only assume that this metabolism will persist after college. Why wouldn’t it?
Machine washing is fine, I promise. I’ve washed my octopus at least 3 times. Just make sure its gentle cycle and on medium heat for drying.
I rolled my eyes at the punchline on this, but then I read the editor’s note and chuckled. Well played.
maybe the waffle waiters are the squishables enemies O_O
I, too, have washed my Squishable. In a pillow case, on gentle, and low heat to dry, it only diminished the softness a little. My whale is still quite cuddly.
I continue to love the expressions on the Squishable faces.
While we don’t have any Waffletoriums, I am taking a Squishable with me to the hospital next week. It counts as a pillow, right?
Best of luck Anton!
Best part “do not machine wash”.
As usual, I adore the secondary material (citysearch spoof?).
I want to go to the waffletorium now, tooooooo.
Oh my, LOVE the waffle costumes! And poor Spirit. I would definitely hate to be covered in lemonade. Stupid waffle man.
now im really confused. at first, the squish’ wer eall, omigod our humans are back, shutup, now the chick is like, yeah 2 humans and some animals…?
i should be quiet and enjoy it.
Just caught up after a couple weeks, and nightshade is my new favorite. Appparently a relative of my own Woodrow. (He’s featured in the pics of the Squishable Raccoon. He wears a fez now. Fezzes are cool)
Nightshade might be a distant relative, though, because he’s grey in color, instead of reddish brown, and has a pretty ringtail, which is missing from my Raccoon.
Squishable’s design department tells me there’s a new raccoon on the way and it’s going to look like Nightshade. More accurately, Nightshade looks like the new raccoon. It’s not there yet, so ask them on Facebook.
Machine wash is completely fine BUT there is a trick to it!! For a squishy as big as say an octopus(thats waht i have) get a white bed sheet, cover him up in it and tie it tightly. This prevents scratches on the eyes and chips, also keeps the color more vibrant. Then load him into a washing machine and use the gentlest soap you have or can find!!(i suggest using soap for baby clothes cuz its really gentle) PUT HIM ON DELICATE OR HANDWASH in warm or cold water (use warm if hes smelling or is really dirty, cold if hes mildly dirty or stinky). USE ONLY A FRONT LOADER ONLY!!!
i send mine to dry cleaning since erm there’s no way any of them will fit into my machine.
love the yelp.
Dry cleaning, hmm? Never thought of that!
Lawl.. poor fox. ^.^ I suppose if life already gave you lemonade then you’re in perfect shape
As for machine washing, I wouldn’t want to spin around at high speeds in the dark! IT’S SCARY!!! So, I plan to give my squishable a bath with it’s own rubber ducky and bath toys!